A Bit Over Half Way and Learning to Pay Attention Again

a hell of a roller coaster ride

PHOTO JOURNAL 2026

James Bradley

7/16/202611 min read

A Bit Over Half Way and Learning to Pay Attention Again

Preface: This is a response about my blog that I received from my good friend and co-worker Kelly Wohlwend

“Thank you for sharing the link. I’m proud of you and loved the blog, photos, and honesty. I do like your shift in April, it’s more detailed, focused and not so much a play by play like the early weeks so I can see and love the development and focus to make the shift. I love this James well done, because its imperfections are perfect, and the growth in photography and writing is evident. Don’t hate me for this, but you lead in your first post about your accident and how you picked up photography and it “changed the way I look at the world now”…perhaps you already have plans for this type of post, but I would love to read about how everything you’ve learned about photography that has been well documented, has changed your viewpoint. We just talked in the truck that day at LANL, but photography has changed you and your purview and I would love to hear your thoughts on that journey. Maybe that’s planned for the end of the year but I think a six month check in would be an amazing read, because I see the change in you. Regardless of my last thought, the photos, journals and your journey was time well spent. Thank you again James, have a good rest of the weekend and keep up the amazing work!!!”

The following post is my response.

A Bit Over Half Way and Learning to Pay Attention Again

When I started this photography challenge in January, I thought I was committing myself to taking one picture every day for a year.

A little past the halfway point and I am seeing more than just the pictures.

Photography has taught me plenty about shutter speed, ISO, aperture, light, composition, focus, and several other things that make my brain hurt when I start thinking about them. Sure, I’ve learned how to work my camera. I’m getting more comfortable editing. I’ve taken photographs I am proud of. I also have many that should never see the light of day (and haven’t)!

The camera has not only educated me technically. It’s changed who I am as a person. The changes haven’t all been from in front of the camera…many happened away from the camera. But the biggest change has been in me.

It’s been a hell of a roller coaster ride for me.

Mid February and I was considering writing my first post, with a bunch of encouragement from Susan. She, being the amazing English teacher she is, was all about helping me get my thoughts in writing. So, with some prodding and convincing I decided to take a stab at it.

My original intent for the post was to just do a running commentary on a few things photography related. Surprisingly, it actually turned out to be kind of cathartic for me. I ended up enjoying the writing part of it nearly as much as I have the picture-mania that ensued in January when all this started. First, I wrote about my accident. I threw out a short generic blurb about and how picking up photography again changed the way I look at the world. I wasn’t particularly detailed about that aspect of the process. It was all about the physical act of picture taking itself.

During the whole process I knew something was changing in me, but I am not sure I completely understood what that meant.

I think I’m beginning to understand it a little better now. I’m beginning to learn what matters to me. It turns out that life changing events have an effect on your mind, not just your body.

Slowing Down Enough to Notice

I have spent most of my life moving from one responsibility to the next. I always have had something going on in my life. Something that keeps me busy and moving. I mean always! I was fortunate enough to marry a person that not only allows me the leeway to pursue whatever I want to do, but for better or worse encourages it. As a matter of fact we tend to feed off of each other and tackle the world head on. Sometimes to our own detriment. Damn the torpedoes…blah…blah…blah!

As my recovery from my accident progressed, work still needed to be done, bills paid, and projects needed finishing. I have a bad habit of starting a project, getting part way through it, then finding some other new idea and attacking whatever it is to the detriment of the project I just left behind. I don’t think I’m the only one who does this. I’m pretty sure that it happens to the best of us. My point is that there is always something to do. Life happens and this time it happened to me.

Is this unusual? I don’t think so. Most people live this way.

My problem was that life became a long list of things that needed to be done and I never got any of them done. I was guilty of measuring my days by how much I did or did not accomplish. I wasn’t seeing the world around me. I let my environment and the people and things in it influence how I saw the world. I had a tendency to let all the crap dictate how I lived.

Photography forced me to slow down. It makes me think. It makes me see, feel, and experience everything.

I can’t photograph a bird, sunset, a flower, or a reflection if I'm not stopping and paying attention. I can’t always rush into a place, take a quick picture, and expect some stunning, stellar, wall-worthy image to jump out at me and say Tah-Dah!

I have to stop.

I have to wait.

I have to think.

I have to change my perspective.

I’ve walked beside a frozen lake where the wind hurts my face.

I’ve watched the light change over that same lake. I noticed the direction a bird was moving and saw the wind move the trees as my eyes watered from the cold.

I’m seeing things that I used to walk or drive right past without giving them much thought. The way the evening sun light falls across a grain field. The reflection of clouds on an irrigation canal. The color and detail inside a flower. How people interact and the expressions on their faces when they don’t realize someone is watching (not creepy at all).

None of this suddenly appeared because I had a camera.

It has always been there.

I was just too busy with my bullshit to pay attention and see it.

Patience Is Still a Work in Progress

Photography has turned me into a patient person. If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you. Teaching me patience was my son’s job and it’s questionable if he succeeded. You had one job Chris!

I think photography came along and picked up where he left off.

I get irritated. I cuss under my breath (not always under my breath), when the bird flies away a split second before I am ready to take the shot. I growl when the light changes too fast for me. Yes, when the sun sets, it can be very fast. Especially when you are trying to get set up for a super cool shot. The focus misses, the weather refuses to cooperate, and the camera always knows more about photography than I do.

Apparently, personal growth does not happen instantly just because you own a camera, several lenses and a whole bunch of gear.

I'm becoming more aware of this because I tend to rush through everything.

I’ve learned that forcing something does not always make it happen faster. Most of the time it only makes the experience more frustrating. This is where patience comes in.

Photography has shown me that some things take time. Improvement takes repetition. Confidence in any skill takes experience and practice. Inspiring moments can’t be scheduled. I need to be patient and let it happen.

This carries over into nearly everything else.

Relationships take time.

Trust takes time.

Building something worthwhile takes time.

Becoming a better version of yourself takes time.

I am learning to be patient with the process, and more importantly, patient with myself.

Seeing the People Around Me Differently

I’ve been thinking more about the people in my life.

When you photograph someone, especially someone you care about, you begin to notice more than how they look. You see their expressions, emotions, reactions, and the small moments that show who they really are.

Some of my favorite pictures are not technically perfect, but they are some of the best pictures I have taken. They are the ones that mean something to me because of the person, place, or moment connected to them. This works with not taking the picture as well. It’s ok to not hear the shutter snap every time I see something cool. It’s ok to just be there just to see, hear, feel, experience, and enjoy the moment.

It makes me think more about my family and the time I spend with them.

We always assume the people closest to us will always be there. Guess what, they are not. We get busy. We become distracted. We tell ourselves we will visit, call, take the trip, or spend more time together when we “get the time”. I say make the time because things rarely slow down on their own.

We have to make room for the people who matter.

The accident made me understand how drastically life can change. I went from a possible broken bone, to a literal “you could die at any moment” situation in the blink of an eye.

Photography keeps reminding me not to forget it.

A picture can preserve a moment, but it can’t replace being present for it.

It's something I work on every day. At times when I need to put the camera down and simply be part of what is happening. Not every experience needs to become a photo op. I don’t need to document every moment in the name of a good photo.

Some moments just need to be lived.

Friends, Coworkers, and Unexpected Encouragement

Encouragement and feedback matters.

Some of the people who have supported this project and my recovery from the accident probably do not realize how important their comments and criticisms have been.

A quick message about a photograph, a question about the blog, a conversation at work, or someone telling me they can see improvement may seem like a small thing, but it's not.

One comment from my daughter particularly stands out to me. I still vividly remember her saying it like it was yesterday. A few days after the accident she had come out to check on me. She sat down next to me and I began crying. As most guys do, I apologized because we’re supposed to be tough, right? She told me “It’s ok Dad, you need to allow yourself a little grace.” That really struck a chord with me. I’ve since tried to do exactly that. I believe everyone should.

Creating something and sharing it publicly is uncomfortable.

There is always a voice in the back of my mind wondering whether anyone cares, whether my work is good enough, or whether I’m wasting my time.

I have friends, family, coworkers, and people online encourage me to continue. Some have offered advice, pointed out things I could improve, or have given me a brutal critique. Others have simply taken the time to look.

This support makes this rollercoaster ride feel like something I’m not doing alone.

It has also reminded me to pay more attention to what other people are working toward. Others deserve the same grace.

Each and every one of us is carrying something. All of us are building, changing, surviving, recovering, improving, or finding our direction.

A few honest words mean more than we realize.

Thank you, Cortnee.

Learning to Accept Imperfection

My single most difficult lesson has been understanding and believing that not everything has to be perfect. Most of it is worth sharing. Maybe not all of it should be ready for framing, mounting and selling, but just simply sharing.

My early blog posts were crap. They weren’t written the same way as the newer ones. Some were more detailed and more focused. They were intended to read like a play-by-play of my photo progress.

That is okay because they show where I started.

I can look back at older shots and immediately see things I would do differently now. It used to bother me. Not now, because I see improvement.

If my early work looked exactly like the current work, it would have meant that I had not learned anything.

My growth in photography has been messy. Honestly, the early stages were a complete shitshow. It never moved in a straight line. Most of the time it was total chaos. Some days everything came together, and other days I might have taken thirty pictures of a blurry duck butt.

Welcome to learning not only photography, but life.

I’m becoming more comfortable showing the process instead of only showing the finished result. In my opinion the process itself is an art form. Most folks don’t understand what kind of work a photographer puts into their craft.

There’s value in being honest about my mistakes, my uncertainty, my frustration, and my failures. These things do not make the journey less meaningful. They make it more real.

A Different Definition of Success

Success means completing the challenge, right?

If I post or take one picture every day for an entire year. If I don’t quit. If I don’t miss a day I win, right?

This is still the goal.

But success means more to me now.

It means continuing even when I do not feel inspired. I am fortunate to not have had any of those days yet. Let me rephrase, I have had a few days where I have not felt “inspired”, but I have yet to have a day where I do not want to get out, shoot, and learn more.

It means I learn from bad photographs.

It means I’m more observant.

It means I’m spending time outside.

It means I’m creating something that did not exist before.

It means I’m sharing experiences honestly.

It means I’m becoming more connected to the people around me.

It means I’m remembering that life is happening right now, not after the next project, the next bill, or the next item on the list is…ya, we’ll say finished (we know how proficient I am at that).

It hasn’t completely changed who I am. I’m still stubborn. I still get distracted (squirrel). I still take on too many projects. I still get pissed off when something refuses to work the way I think it should.

But I look at those things differently.

I pay more attention to how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and how I want the next part of my life to look.

A Bit Over Halfway, but Not Finished

Six plus months into this challenge, I know I still have a long way to go.

I still have pictures I want to take, skills I want to improve, places I want to visit, and experiences I want to share.

I also know this is no longer just about photography.

It may be the tool that started the process, but the real change has been learning to see my life more clearly.

The people.

The places.

The mistakes.

The progress.

…and everything I used to overlook.

I have no idea how the second half of this year will play out. I’m positive that there will be missed focus, bad light, terrible weather, questionable decisions (probably lots), and at least a few occasions where I wonder why I am standing outside, in the dark, by myself trying to avoid thoughts of supernatural terrors.

One thing for sure is that there will be moments worth remembering.

This is enough of a reason for me to keep going.

To all of you who have followed along, encouraged me, shared advice, read the blog, commented on a photograph, or simply checked on me, thank you.

You’ve all played a part. You’ve all become part of my journey too.

I’m becoming a better photographer.

I think I’m learning to become a more present person.

**Special thanks to Kelly for the inspiration for the post. I appreciate the push.” Love you, my friend!